


No Church in the Wild

by History_Buff



Category: Naruto
Genre: Double Penetration, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-28 21:56:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20433086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/History_Buff/pseuds/History_Buff
Summary: Iruka never thought his day would end up like this.Or,Kisame finds an interesting prey. Iruka gets double dicked. It all works out in the end.





	No Church in the Wild

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blackkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/gifts).

_ This little bastard will be the death of me, _ Kisame thought with no small degree of exasperation.

It had started as a simple solo mission. Itachi was feeling poorly, so Konan sent him on a small recon mission in Fire Country. Get there, get the info, get back.  _ Simple _ , in theory.

Except.

On the way there, he ran into a little pest. A  _ cute  _ little pest, with dark eyes and soft-looking hair, and a scar running the length of his face. Still, he looked like a stiff wind would blow him over, and Kisame was not one to let a handsome face get in the way of his mission.

Kisame didn’t think he’d even need to use his chakra, as he didn’t recognize the handsome opposing ninja from the Bingo Book. He was probably a chunin but clearly wasn’t a threat.

Kisame lazily swung his foot in a swift roundhouse kick, expecting to knock the cutie unconscious and get on with this damned mission already.

But then.

The cheeky little pest  _ caught his foot,  _ and then threw him into a tree.

_ Nobody  _ throws Kisame into a tree.

Kisame decided to up his game. He didn’t draw Samehada, not yet, but little by little he increased the frequency and severity of his blows. And, little by little, this cute little chunin matched him blow for blow. The adorable little pest seemed to predict his movements.

It was heartening to receive a challenge, small as it was. The little minnow was light on his feet, desperately evading Kisame.

“Hold still, little minnow,” Kisame grinned, his sharp teeth on full display. “Let me catch you.”

“Absolutely  _ not! _ ” The little prey spat, “I have  _ some  _ sense of self preservation!”

Kisame landed a particularly hard kick, sending the little fish into a nearby creek. He emerged sopping wet, long brown locks dripping with water. Kisame eyed the way his clothes clung to his lithe body, betraying the muscles beneath. The little prey was much stronger than he appeared.

At the thought, Kisame felt his dicks twitch in his pants, and he suppressed a scowl of annoyance. Now was  _ not  _ the time.

In the split second his adorable prey was distracted, Kisame substituted with a water clone and dashed off silently, determined to carry on the mission.

Ten minutes later, Kisame paused as the dispersed clones’ memories flooded him. 

He gave a very shark-like smirk.

_ This prey was too interesting to pass up. _

***

The mission itself was easy, and Kisame finished it in no time. He sent his shark summons off with the information he’d gathered with a cheery pat on their snouts. Included was a short note that Kisame was going to take some extra time to get back, explaining that he’d found something interesting on his travel.

Kisame made his way swiftly to Konoha, cloaking his chakra and speeding through the trees. It was only half a day’s journey, and he snuck through the gates with a well-crafted henge.

He wasn’t much of a sensor, but the ninja’s chakra had a very distinctive feel, warm and comforting like sunlight.

He sought that feeling now, following it through the winding, twisting streets that made up Konoha. It was a strangely peaceful village, with civilian children racing down the streets, their laughter ringing in his ears. However, Kisame knew it was a false peace. Ninja villages were savage, cutthroat places, and the peace the civilians enjoyed was nothing but a lie.

His senses led him to what appeared to what passed for a Ninja Academy in Konoha. The building itself was in decent enough shape, Kisame supposed, but it lacked the stench of blood that pervaded Kiri’s own Academy. He supposed that was probably a good sign. Though, it was curious that his prey was in a place like this.

He crept around the back of the building, choosing a strategic tree as a hiding spot. He would have preferred something like a puddle or a stream to hide and observe, but the best vantage point in Konoha was unfortunately the trees.

He watched as little guppies stumbled out into the practice ground, excited and eager to be outdoors. He watched with interest as his prey emerged from the building, bringing up the rear of the school.

It seemed his little prey was a teacher, which only increased Kisame’s interest. No wonder he was a cut above most chuunin Kisame encountered.

He relaxed in a tree and watched the little guppies fumble with their shuriken. It was amusing to see them miss their targets by a mile, though it became less amusing when three or four came too close to his hiding spot.

“Iruka-sensei!” one particular little blonde called. “Look, I did it! I hit the target!”

“Good job, Naruto!” his prey responded happily, patting the blonde on the head proudly.

_ Iruka. _ So that was his little prey’s name. Kisame filed that little tidbit away with interest.

Eventually, the little guppies were rounded up and marched back inside. Kisame watched with interest as his little teacher made some excuses to another and waved them inside. The teacher-  _ Iruka _ \- then made his way to the base of the tree Kisame was hiding in.

“I know you’re there.” he called. “You’re not as sneaky as you’d like to think.”

Kisame remained hidden, but called down to Iruka, “I’m surprised you found me.”

Iruka snorted. “Naruto is  _ twelve _ , and even he can do a better job at hiding from me. Now, are you going to tell me what you’re doing here, or do I have to call ANBU to wrest it out of you?”

“Why haven’t you called them already?” Kisame taunted.

“Please.” Iruka snorted. “If you wanted to harm the kids, you’d have done so already. You had ample opportunity. But what brings the Monster of the Hidden Mist to the Konoha Academy?”

“You know me.” Kisame said, somewhat surprised.

Iruka shot him a deadpan look. “You’re in the Bingo Book. And, no offense, but you’re not easily mistaken.” He narrowed his eyes. 

“And don’t change the subject!” he reprimanded.

Kisame chuckled, which bubbled into full-blown laughter. “You’re every bit as interesting as I thought, Iruka- _ sensei _ .”

Iruka’s face turned a very interesting shade of red. “ _ Stop. Changing. The. Subject. _ ” he growled.

“I’m here for  _ you _ , cutie-pie” Kisame flirted, “It’s not often a chunin like you catches my attention.” He tossed a small folded piece of paper down the tree for Iruka to catch.

“This isn’t the best place for a friendly chat,” Kisame explained, “so meet me at these coordinates in two days' time.” He smirked sharkily. 

“I suppose I don’t have to tell you to come alone, do I?” He asked dangerously.

Before Iruka could say anything in response, he made a hand-sign, and Kisame’s water clone dispersed.

Iruka looked at the piece of paper in his hand warily.

He  _ should  _ go right to the Hokage with this slip of paper and tell him the story. He  _ should _ start a manhunt for one of the most dangerous missing ninjas.

But…

_ But. _

Something stopped him from doing so. Maybe it was the flirting, but Iruka's instincts were telling him that Kisame was… well, not  _ harmless _ but he didn't mean any harm.

_ (It could be,  _ a traitorous voice whispered,  _ that lonely tone in his voice, the excitement in his eyes at a challenge…) _

Iruka slapped his cheeks. This was nonsense. Many an ANBU team had tried and failed to subdue Kisame, and he wouldn't condemn his fellow comrades to certain death when he had a chance of survival. 

Iruka couldn't sleep that night or the next, too wrapped up in the churning of his mind.

Fortunately, the appointed day was on the weekend, so Iruka didn't have to miss teaching.

He made his excuses to Kotetsu and Izumo at the gates of Konoha, and from there quickly made his way to the coordinates Kisame had given him.

It turned out to be a small clearing half a day’s journey from Konoha. Iruka sat and waited for Kisame to show himself. The sun inched across the sky, afternoon turning into early evening as the glare of the sun faded into a warm glow. Kisame stepped leisurely out of the shadows, and for the first time Iruka got a decent look at him.

_ Well,  _ was Iruka’s first thought,  _ he’s unexpectedly handsome _ .

Certainly Kisame wasn’t handsome by conventional standards, but there was something alluring about his alien features. Of course, his tall, muscular build wasn’t helping matters. Iruka wondered idly if his blue skin was as smooth as it looked.

“You’re late,” is what he says, which is better than the  _ “You’re really pretty” _ he wanted to say.

Kisame smirked, his sharp teeth on full display. “Never specified a time.” he rejoined, unhooking his sword, Samehada, and plopping down next to Iruka.

Iruka eyed him curiously. “So,” he asked, “why did you ask me here?”

Kisame eyed him back, much less warily. “I want a spar.” he grinned. “A proper one too, nothing half-assed. All or nothing.”

“W-what?!” Iruka spluttered. “I can’t- I don’t-  _ you’ll flatten me in ten seconds flat! _ ”

“I don’t see the issue.” Kisame leered. 

“Wha-  _ easy for you to say!”  _ Iruka objected. “Anyway, I’m not much of a match for you.”

Kisame sat up on his elbow, his stare intense. “Says who?” he demanded. 

Iruka gaped, at a loss for words. “You’re an  _ S-rank missing ninja.  _ I’m a lowly Academy Teacher. It’d never work, you’d kill me.”

“We can make it work,” Kisame said earnestly.

Iruka got the distinct impression that they were no longer talking about a spar.

“Why are you so eager to spar with me?” Iruka demanded, “Why this charade? Why bring me here?”

Kisame’s stare was as intense as it was unsettling. “Why did you show up?” he asked pointedly.

Iruka’s face went beet red. He didn’t respond. 

Kisame sighed, then leaned closer so he was face-to-face with Iruka. “I find you captivating.” he said frankly.

Iruka’s face burned hotter. “Don’t make up such a ridiculous lie.”

“I don’t lie,” Kisame said as he leaned in closer. “And besides, what would I have to gain besides a good time?”

Iruka’s face got redder as Kisame leaned in further. “I’m sure it would be a very good time.” Iruka said, then squeaked as he realized what he said. “I- I mean, well, that’s not-”

He was cut off by Kisame claiming his lips in a searing kiss. 

Iruka’s thought process stopped dead. 

_ He’s a really good kisser,  _ Iruka thought dimly as he leaned into the kiss.

Kisame leaned in further, demanding entrance. Iruka knew that this would be the point of no return, that to allow this to go further was folly. Iruka let him in anyway.

  
  


Kisame undid the tie around Iruka’s hair, running his hands through soft locks. They trailed downwards, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His hands creeped under Iruka’s shirt, tweaking and pulling at his nipples. The hands roamed further, slowly undressing him. 

_ This is wrong _ , Iruka thought,  _ but oh god does this feel amazing.  _

Iruka’s hands came up to grip Kisame’s soft hair, pulling lightly, causing him to groan with pleasure. 

Iruka broke the kiss to whisper in Kisame’s ear. “Lie back,” he said, “I wanna ride you.”

Kisame nipped Iruka’s ear, his sharp teeth drawing blood. 

“Go for it, little prey,” he whispered, “surprise me.”

That should not have been as hot as it was, but Iruka ‘s cock  _ ached _ at the words. 

Iruka flipped Kisame around, maneuvering so he was straddling Kisame’s hips. He removed the man’s red-and-black cloak, revealing expanses of azure skin and muscles. Iruka could feel himself beginning to drool in anticipation. He’d love to mark that smooth skin, Iruka thought as he traced man’s muscles. It was  _ too  _ smooth, like a shark’s, and Iruka longed to leave it deliciously bruised.

Kisame smirked at Iruka’s expression. “See something you like, Precious?” he teased, shark-like grin increasing as Iruka’s cheeks flushed further.

“Yeah,” Iruka admitted, his eyes blown wide with lust. “Yeah, I do.”

“Well,” Kisame grinned cockily, folding his arms behind his head, “come and take it, if you’re man enough.”

Iruka bit his lips, incredibly aroused and incredibly conflicted at the taunt.

_ Am I really going to go through with this? _ He asked himself. This could mean a world of trouble if it ever got back to his superiors. But then Iruka looked into Kisame’s eyes, saw the desperation and vulnerability behind the cocky attitude, saw the bone-aching loneliness, and all his doubts flew out the window.

_ Fuck it _ , Iruka felt his confidence grow as he ripped Kisame’s pants open, hard enough for the other man to cry out. He’d deal with the consequences of his actions on another day, if and when they came. For now, there was a sexy shark man laying like a feast in front of him. And Iruka was absolutely going to partake.

He tore off Kisame’s underwear, diving eagerly for his dick. But he received a  _ big  _ surprise.

“Looks like you’re a shark all the way down,” he smirked, taking delight in the blue flush on Kisame’s face.

“If it’s too weird for you-”

“Never said that,” Iruka removed the last vestiges of Kisame’s underwear, “just means I have to do twice the work.”

Iruka began to slowly work himself open with one hand, using some olive oil he kept on him  _ just in case,  _ the other slowly working one of Kisame’s dicks.

“Oooh, a show  _ and  _ a handjob?” Kisame smirked. “Lucky me!”

Iruka decided now was a good time to shut him up.

Kisame’s head snapped back with a groan as one of his dicks was enveloped in Iruka’s warm heat. 

“Fuck,” he said. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“Nothing good, I assume.” Iruka snarked as he set a fast, brutal pace. 

As he rode Kisame, he began to add his other appendage to the mix, slowly but surely working himself even more open for Kisame. The stretch was difficult, but Iruka was more than up for the challenge. He went carefully, not willing to hurt himself. Eventually, he managed to take both to the hilt, the stretch burning pleasurably.

Iruka was a mess of sensations. Pain and pleasure warred within him, each heightening the other. The sensations built and built and built, driving Iruka wild with lust. He could feel it charge through his body like electricity. When he finally came, Kisame’s seed dripping from his hole, he was a total wreck.

As the two of them laid in the afterglow, Iruka hoped this wasn’t the last time he’d see Kisame.

**Author's Note:**

> OMG FINALLY! This monster took me a month to finish oml.
> 
> This is for an event exchange on Discord. Big thanks to everyone who helped out, including but not limited to: Amal, Fiend, Owari, Shane, Fred, Koi, and Squigs over on Discord <3 Y'all are all incredible, I couldn't have done it without y'all.


End file.
